Sunday, August 25, 2013


The truth is that sin has consequences. It's really something among many other things that keeps me away from it. I daily think about my past relationships but avoid entertaining those thoughts which always leads me to prayer. None the less the thoughts burden me and many times flow into my dream world where the enemy fights so unfairly. I don't know what unsaved people do but this morning as I sit outside with Jesus, I am reminded that I have no hope in this world and all my hope lies in the next where I am undefiled and my mind rests on Thee. It is a beautiful thing to know that what I wrestle with here is only temporary.  I can and I will always look to Jesus when I am feeling hopeless or realizing that my life is not my own and my sweet lord holds it all together firmly in His hands.

Monday, August 19, 2013

It's been a year

A year can change many things. Actually what I'm realizing is that in a moment things can change. I can be working and something will rise up in my heart that is disgusting and perverse and have no idea where it came from.  It's heart wrenching to know what the enemy can do with someone when they are not on steady ground. My emotions as of late, are that of a pre-teen. I can't seem to shake it but I am determined not to let the enemy get any part of me or to slyly move anymore into my selfish heart. In the past if I was feeling at all powerless, I would gratify my flesh by any means possible. Praise The Lord that this isn't what I go to anymore. I rely on Jesus to fill the empty parts of my heart.  My firm foundation, my deliverer, my portion, my strength, my rock. This is what He has been to me in the past and this is what He will forever be to me. I don't need to drink myself into a mindless hole and I dont need to get my fix by kissing my feelings away. It doesn't work like that anymore. That is the hopelessness that use to consume a life separated by God. The old man is dead and it's time to dig deep and endure because I know that joy comes in the morning. When I am not self-seeking, there is so much joy in my Father. He delights in me and I am His beloved. Where else can I find rest and truth but in Him. I know that as life changes, the living God that I serve will never change and I want to faithfully trust that He will be my constant. I will not let the emotions of this week or today or any day dictate my life.

No sin is worse than the sin of self-pity, because it removes God from the throne of our lives, replacing Him with our own self-interests. It causes us to open our mouths only to complain, and we simply become spiritual sponges— always absorbing, never giving, and never being satisfied. And there is nothing lovely or generous about our lives.

Monday, June 4, 2012

Omg in all my years of being a Christian I never read acts. I finally started it and am studying it and it blessing my life more than I could have ever imagined. The Lord is God.

Tuesday, May 29, 2012


I feel like crying because Jesus is working on my heart. The joy I feel praying with someone is so good. I don't even know what to do. My desire to help and serve is only from the Lord. Praise God. I'm tired.

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

We are overwhelmed by You

I honestly dont know how to express my feelings because the Lord is just overwhelming my life in the most amazing ways. Everything is interconnecting and I am reading, hearing and learning the same lesson over and over. Break chains and I am redeemed and not only is Jesus mine but I am His. I am his girl, He loves me and He wants more of me and seriously I am so excited about Him.

When God calls us to break chains and step out in faith and away from bondage, He means it. He doesnt say if youe hand causes you to sin, make a little cut, He says cut it off. It most likely wont feel good but the Lord is good and He wants the best for you. It will be the best decision you make and God will honor that. I dont even know what I am saying... All I know is that Jesus has made me new. Praise the Lord

Friday, May 18, 2012

Forgot my xanga password

I feel like forgetting my password is like losing a pet or something. Anyway the Lord just spoke to me. I think my xanga is symbolic of my old life. So much darkness and hypocrisy went on when I was writing in it and maybe its time to leave that old me behind since I've already put the past behind me. I now am a new creation in Christ. My past is dead. I no longer have to be a slave to sin and I no longer have to live with guilt. I don't need the heartbreaking reminders of where I once was and how many times I tried to die to sin and myself whilst my foot still being in the world. I was sick and a sorry excuse for a "Christian".

 The more and more I think about it, the more I feel as though I wasn't saved. I knew Christ but I didn't trust him and I didn't love him or fear him. If I did, I would have obeyed His commands. I can only move forward though and praise God for a renewed heart and mind. He is truly working through me. I get sad that I wasted so many years of my life being selfish and only wanting the things that destroyed me. What a wretch I was. But I am so thankful for being brought out and that God held on and He never forsake me. That's it. The Lord is good and worthy to be praised.

Nothing should concern us more than our relationship with God; it's about eternity and nothing compares with that.   Francis chan