I feel like forgetting my password is like losing a pet or something. Anyway the Lord just spoke to me. I think my xanga is symbolic of my old life. So much darkness and hypocrisy went on when I was writing in it and maybe its time to leave that old me behind since I've already put the past behind me. I now am a new creation in Christ. My past is dead. I no longer have to be a slave to sin and I no longer have to live with guilt. I don't need the heartbreaking reminders of where I once was and how many times I tried to die to sin and myself whilst my foot still being in the world. I was sick and a sorry excuse for a "Christian".
The more and more I think about it, the more I feel as though I wasn't saved. I knew Christ but I didn't trust him and I didn't love him or fear him. If I did, I would have obeyed His commands. I can only move forward though and praise God for a renewed heart and mind. He is truly working through me. I get sad that I wasted so many years of my life being selfish and only wanting the things that destroyed me. What a wretch I was. But I am so thankful for being brought out and that God held on and He never forsake me. That's it. The Lord is good and worthy to be praised.
Nothing should concern us more than our relationship with God; it's about eternity and nothing compares with that.